oh, fuuuuuuudge

Someone has decided that I don’t have enough on my plate right now, because today I lost my wallet.

I retraced my activity over and over again, tore apart the house and car, and it’s just not here. BF and I have determined that due to the time span in which I probably lost it, whatever has happened to it, it’s up to someone else if I get it back or not.

There was stuff in that wallet I can’t get back.

And I don’t even want to think about identity theft.

I pray for help about once every couple of years, but tonight is going to be one of those occasions.

UPDATE: Holy crap, God is good.

I went and got gas this morning at the same station where I got gas on Sunday morning in BF’s car. That was the last time I remembered using/seeing my wallet. I always do the same thing when I get gas, though, so I was pretty certain I’d put the wallet back in my bag. It was so goddamn cold, though, I remember that far better than the actual getting of gas.

This morning as I got gas, it occurred to me that I very well might have left the wallet on the roof of BF’s car and driven off. He has a hatchback so I didn’t put the wallet on the trunk like I sometimes do with my car. I figured if that had happened, it was probably gone for good, but I still idly scanned the shoulder as I got on the entrance to the highway.

There was something orange in the shoulder. It was the right size.

I pulled over and ran, and there it was, my wallet. It had been run over and was totally mangled. My license and my bank card were missing, but the $3 in cash I’d had was still in there. Nearby I saw one of my yoga business cards in the grass, and then my social security card. I walked up and down the embankment with tears welling in my eyes, gathering cards, and eventually I found my license and a number of the other cards I’d had in there. My bankcard appeared gone, so I got in my car and prepared to leave, but then I spotted the red and gray card in front of my car. It was broken and unusable, but the number was intact.

I laughed and cried a little when I got in my car, and then I called BF in hysteria. He was so happy for me. I told him this was SCIENTIFIC PROOF that prayer works. (I had a miserable night, barely slept, prayed a lot, went over and over what could have happened to it, made promises about being more careful with my money, etc.) He suggested I have the broken wallet shadowboxed and hung on the wall, and I may just do that.

I know I could have replaced almost all the stuff in that wallet if I’d had to. But I was miserable and heartsick at the thought of it, at all the trouble, and very angry at myself for being so careless as to lose this essential item. I am so grateful, from the very bottom of my heart, that the universe decided to give me a break this time.