shortening the process with emails and labels

Last night and this morning I sent out a flurry of emails, and I’m waiting for replies very impatiently. Last night it was a mass email to a bunch of friends whose snail-mail addresses I don’t have. Save the Date cards are going out in the next couple of weeks, and addresses need to be gathered. I got messages back from most of the friends last night, but there are still 3 lazybones who haven’t gotten back to me, one of them being BF’s brother.

This morning I sent two emails that are anxious-making: one to my cousin, whose mother I adore and secretly wish was my grandmother instead of my great-aunt, and one to an old friend of my mother’s. I need the cousin’s and great-aunt’s postal addresses, so that’s why I emailed him, but it may be the first that they learn that I’m getting married. They might have a conversation with my father, which might spread ripples all through that side of the family. I don’t know what’s going to happen with it, maybe nothing, but maybe something.

The old friend of my mother’s is a bit different. She and my mother were best friends for many years, from my childhood on up, because they went to grad school together. A few years ago, the friend – let’s call her Beth - broke off the friendship. She apparently told my mother that she had gotten too boring for her, and that she didn’t feel any friendship for her anymore. This may sound like a shitty thing to do, but I can understand where Beth was coming from, and although it was painful for her, my mother is not hurting for women friends. In any case, Beth has always been someone I have looked up to. She’s a bit of a hippie, very artistic and ethereal, with terrific taste and knowledge about all kinds of things you’d never have heard of otherwise. She got me into the Moomintrolls and essential oils and flowing decorative scarves, when all these things were interesting and romantic and new, when I was younger. She was lovely to me.

She is also childless. She and her husband (still, as far as I know) live happily together with no children. For years, she was literally the only adult I knew who had decided not to have children. It was a quirk when I was a kid – because it’s not easy for a kid to meet adults who don’t also have kids – but as I grew older, it became something I remembered in comfort. Beth never had kids. I would remember her uniqueness and sweet manner, and think of this sentence, whenever anyone told me that I’d change my mind, dearie. It gave me the strength to truly make up my mind, without worrying that I wasn’t normal, because Beth was perfectly normal (in fact, she was awesome).

I feel grateful to her for being such a good example for me, especially now that I’m getting married. If I hadn’t known her at a young age and known that she was happily childless, I think I would have been more conflicted about entering into a marriage I knew would not be fruitful. What was the point? Shouldn’t I feel guilty? I don’t have any of that, because of Beth.

So I emailed her, at the address on her college’s website (she is a teacher), to explain this, and to thank her at this transitional time for being such a help to me. I am nervous that this email will not be accepted well, so I’m refreshing my inbox over and over and hoping she writes back in friendship.

Also, this weekend I’m going to have to make my case for printed labels rather than hand-writing addresses on the cards and invitations. I shudder at the waste of time it will be to write out all those addresses, and my handwriting is not the best, so I just don’t see the point in doing it when I can print out labels in an attractive font in about 90 seconds. I mentioned this to MM and she said she would be happy to help me address them, or to pay a calligrapher to address them. I’m sorry, but no. Labels are the way I want to go. (If it’s going to cause a giant rift, fine, I’ll address them, whatever, but I seriously do not see the point.) MP are taking me out to dinner for my birthday tomorrow (it was the first time we were all free), so I’m going to have to deal with it then. Boooo.

I ordered the Save the Date cards and the custom postage last night. I am pretty excited about them. (The proofs are coming via email, so that’s something else I’m waiting for to pop into my inbox.) This meant I looked over my guest list last night to figure out how many to order, and I’m sort of shocked at how small it is. If the +1s invited don’t show up, I will only have about 40 people there. I’m kind of concerned it’s going to be a weak little party, with so few people. Frankly, the smaller the better when it comes to BF and me, but I think MP are going to be disappointed if it’s not a Major Partay.

Also, a lament I have repeated numerous times to no avail (and likely to BF’s growing annoyance): I wish my dress would come.