query
What do you choose not to write about in your blog?
One of my New Year’s resolutions was to write more about sex and my struggles with it, and so far I have failed. Most of the reason is that this is the place I want to write about it, but I’m hesitant. By no means am I shy about sex, but I don’t know to whom I write in this medium. Also, BF is not just a character in this continuing story that you’re reading; he’s a real man with feelings and opinions and privacy of his own, and it would be wrong to cast him as a walking shadow here. My refusal so far to talk about my sexual issues has stemmed from wanting to protect myself, because after all a few of you do know me in person now, but much more so to protect him and his privacy.
Yet I can no longer ignore that something’s going on and I need to work it out. Writing about it here has worked exceptionally well for the last two years for all my other problems. You’re all supportive and helpful. I can’t ignore that writing about my own struggles could help someone else, or could allow someone to open up in a way that they need for their own peace of mind. I’m still reticent, and now I’ve come to the threshold where I want your opinion.
Where’s your line? Why? Do you think I’m handling this the right way as it is, or that I should throw caution to the wind? Your thoughts are most welcome.
April 28, 2010 at 11:12 pm
I recently talked about how I wish I would have started and stayed anonymous so I could let it all out there. As it is, my internet life is now too intwined with my real life and I can’t possibly talk about the best stories that happen at home and at work. When I say :best: I mean, the most blogworthy and dramatic that deserve to be written down. Lots of the best bloggers who make money doing it are the ones who break off their care of those IRL to write. I haven’t gotten to that mental point yet, but i get closer every day. Hope the wedding planning is coming along!
April 28, 2010 at 11:15 pm
I don’t talk about our sex life… and that’s pretty much the only thing I don’t talk about! Well, that and dirty laundry, though sometimes I do mention how I’m feeling about a fight, or after a fight, or whatnot. I’d say never post what you may regret later, which is something I struggled with in the whole telling the story about my ex, the affair that brought Bill and I together, etc. I tend to be a caution to the wind kind of person, but if you feel uncomfortable about going public with something, still write about it because that’s cathartic. But either keep a private journal or password protect the post. That way if you’re still looking for feedback but you don’t want the entire world to read, you can control who does by only giving out the password to certain people. Regardless, you know we’ll support you and you’re right, what you have to say might end up helping out someone else!
April 28, 2010 at 11:45 pm
I second Tiffany. I don’t air our dirty laundry. Rehashing a disagreement he and I might have had won’t do either of us any good, nor our readers.
April 29, 2010 at 9:20 am
OK, I started writing here and it ended up being a slightly-long comment that I decided to turn into a slightly-short post instead, because I’ve been thinking something similar lately myself. You’ll be receiving a pingback in poco minutos.
April 29, 2010 at 9:29 am
[...] very brief discussion about this with Heather after we had dinner together in Chicago, and now that Crisitunity posted about it just yesterday, I wanted to talk a little bit about our boundaries when it comes to our blogs. I [...]
April 29, 2010 at 6:17 pm
I don’t write about sex. I also don’t write about the intricacies of our marriage. I don’t write about things that he wouldn’t want out there. I don’t write about my work, or his, either.
He started our blog, but I definitely write on it more. He posts on occasion, and he’s a lovely writer.