the blue bird
At some point in the next week or so I will present you with PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE that I jumped in the swimming hole naked today. But for now you’ll just have to trust me, that I did. And that it was so fucking cold that my lungs froze up and I could not exhale until I climbed out onto a rock. It was a blast and I’m so glad I did it.
Just a short thing today, although soon I have to write about “syncretic”, and the chakra system, and some other things. That’s philosophical and I am not in a place to be able to do it right now (tiiiiired and my diaphragm hurts from coughing), so I’ll just tell you this little thing.
When I was in middle school I used to lead guided meditations to anyone who’d agree to do it with me. We’d sit knee to knee, cross-legged, and I’d put their hands in mine. I’d tell them to close their eyes and imagine themselves in a hallway.
How many doors do you see?
Do you want to go in any of them?
Which one?
Open the door.
What do you see?
Do you want to leave this room?
Do you want to leave this trance?
And then we would either go into more rooms or I’d tell them to open their eyes and we’d talk over what they’d seen. I think now that this was totally bizarre and irresponsible of me, to just invent this mode of self-exploration and talk a bunch of impressionable young people into doing it with me, but I was just a kid myself, you know.
The one time I got someone to guide me, I saw, in my room, a totally white room that was shaped like an egg, with no wall-corners. There was a window to one side, with light coming through. On the floor was the most beautiful blue bird, and as I thought about taking a step closer to it, it flew out of the window and was gone.
Today I was in the yoga studio here, and I looked up at the ceiling, and I realized for the first time that this studio had no wall-corners. It was rounded at every edge, and painted white.
What is the bird? Has it already flown away, or am I keeping it here, cradled close to my heart?
October 23, 2009 at 1:00 pm
I hope you’re not still sick! Though perhaps skinny dipping in frigid water is good for what ails ya!
Sadly, I am still sick. But it sure did feel great.
October 23, 2009 at 1:45 pm
wow!! I’d say I havent tried this one yet (the guided meditation with the door thing that you mentioned, not the skinny dipping!) but I sure do want to try it once, I’m curious now to know what I’d see when I open the door.
Well, if a 12-year-old can do it, I’ll bet you can ask someone to do it for you.
October 23, 2009 at 6:04 pm
Whoa. That last part is heavy. So much so that I will completely swallow the joke that I thought of based upon the first paragraph. (Yes, me, a joke. I know you’re shocked.)
Aw, I wanna hear the joke.
I’m thinking, if it took you this many years to find the room, maybe it’ll take you just a little while longer to see the bird. But I’m betting you can feel it someplace nearby…
October 26, 2009 at 9:04 am
It wasn’t all THAT good:
“I saw ‘photographic’ and ‘naked’ and all the blood rushed to places other than my brain so I’ll have to read the rest later.”
Heh.
October 25, 2009 at 12:08 pm
I so would’ve been one of those kids in middle school who would’ve wanted you to put me into a trance! When he was middle school aged, Brian accidentally (he never believed it would’ve happened or he wouldn’t have done it) put a kid into a trance and adults had to be called to get the kid to come out of it. He was suspended over that one.
Eep. Glad I never did that on school grounds.