that’s all there is, there ain’t no more

My job ended yesterday.

I explained my job and office to OG, and she kept saying things like “that makes sense” and “that’s a really good system.” Proof that she had no idea what my job actually is or whether I was doing it well.

EP stopped by and tried to talk to me about my prospects – “So, are you going to take some time off, or get another job?” Time off? Seriously? How much do you think I make? – and if she had been anything except a cold and/or nasty bitch for the vast majority of my employment there I would have bothered to try and have a conversation with her. But she hasn’t. So I didn’t. I just gave her short answers and she walked away.

OG gave me a little parting gift, Bath & Body Works stuff, but I didn’t get any kind of severance anything, nor did anyone else give me so much as a card. This really bugged me, and hurt my feelings, respectively. I guess it’s true that I haven’t tried to reach out to these folks (except MFA, who didn’t get me anything either) as more than just a neutral employee – at least not since my first few months on the job, when I tried to be friendly and involved and kept getting rejected – but it bothers me that I made so little an impact in two years.

I was thinking of more poetic things to say about this on the way home – I have treasures, here inside my heart and mind, and no one seems to notice, or care – but I’ve lost them. I am highly confused about how I feel about my last day at work, and instead of trying to sort out all my emotions I’m drinking wine and trying not to think about what I have to do to prepare for my trip tomorrow. (I write this on Thursday evening, to post on Friday morning.) Logan’s Run is helping. Incidentally, I read a bit more about the book source and the remake that’s been in development hell for some years now, and I take back my prior trepidation about the remake.

Oh, and I didn’t get the Owings Mills job. The guy called me at 6:30 while I was making dinner and already a little tipsy, which was awesome. Thanks in advance for your condolences.

I’ve scheduled a post for tomorrow about yoga and humility that’s been in the can for a while. Hope you like it. I’ll probably get home in late evening on Sunday, and at that time I doubt I’ll have the capacity for anything except “I got home fine and the weekend was mind-blowing and I’ll write about it another time.” So I’ll schedule a meme for that day.

Wish me luck in not embarrassing myself in front of Jennifer all weekend. I’m very afraid of a whole weekend in her company and all the chewing of my foot I can potentially do.