good thing I kept my mouth shut

Yesterday was a difficult day at work, but of course everything was much better when I went home. BF and I watched an episode of Highlander over dinner, and because he is insane, BF likes to watch the little mini-featurette that goes with each episode where the behind-the-scenes folks talk about it. For this one they had the director, a British guy with an ego the size of Africa, and the production designer, a certified ninny. The show was shot in Vancouver half the year, standing in for sort-of-Seattle, and for this episode the flashback had to be in Louisiana during the 1860’s. The PD started talking about how for this episode, there was this major problem because they had to find, somewhere near Vancouver, a field and a river. “Oh wow,” said BF. “A field. You’ll never find one of those in Canada.” This was funny enough, but the guy went on, talking for several long minutes about how astonishing it was that he managed to find both a field and a river in the area around Vancouver. Our remarks about him escalated until we were laughing hysterically, the stomach-hurting, tear-squirting kind of laughter. It even induced hiccups in BF. It was a really great evening.

Tomorrow morning I have an interview in Baltimore, and possibly another interview as well near Baltimore (I haven’t gotten in touch with the guy yet, but he said on his message that he wanted to interview me). Both of these came out of ads I answered from Craigslist, which I never would have thought of in a million years for job-searching. Thanks, BF. Of course, the one interview is with a placement agency whose owners were indicted at some point in the last two years, and about the other guy I can’t find any information on the ‘net. Eep. Won’t hurt to interview, but as I tried to explain to OG yesterday, I have worked for skeezy employers and it is better by far to have no job at all.

One of our admin staff has gotten a job and will be all done here by the middle of next week. I had had, as I said, a difficult day yesterday so when I passed her in the hall next, the most terrible things ran through my head to say to her. She is the one who misfiles things, constantly, so I wanted to say something about how nice for her that she’ll get to misfile things somewhere else. I was shocked at the meanness inside my head. It was a wake-up as to how out of whack my emotional barometer is right now.

My hope is that I’ll be able to book it outta here in the same way she does – that I will be able to leave before the month is out. I kind of want to make it clear that I am not happy with this situation. MD stopped by my office yesterday to tell me that it was likely the firm would be able to afford to keep me and DT through August. This is pretty much exactly the opposite of what OG had implied to me earlier in the day. He went on to tell me about the settlements we’ve just received, but I knew about those, and I also knew about the tens of thousands of dollars that we owe to experts and copying services and so on that I figured we would finally be able to pay because of these settlements. I am so frustrated by these mixed messages that I want to scream, and the Spock half of my brain is saying calmly that no matter my emotional reaction, this is a pretty shitty way to treat your employees, to wimble back and forth so often between “You’re fired!” and “No you’re not!” over the course of a couple of weeks.

I would like to discuss how my interests in getting another job impact the phone-a-thon and the crisitunity aspect of me getting laid off, but I really don’t have it in me today. I hope I’ll be able to talk about it this week without losing my shit.