in which the internet ruins everything, again
Here’s another “assorted” post, because I’m nothing if not consistently assorted.
I found this post extremely interesting. I have always felt as if it’s required to wear some kind of heel when I’m wearing work clothes, but I really hate wearing heels because 1) symbol of patriarchy blah blah blah and 2) heels ruin your spine, feet, posture, etc. Since I started working here I have gradually transitioned to just wearing my black Merrells to work every day, because I’m in a small office and barely ever see clients, and the attorneys don’t really care as far as I can tell. On days when I know I’ll have to see someone outside of the small office, I wear higher-heeled loafers. But even in my perfectly presentable non-heeled shoes, I feel somehow less professional. Why should that be so?
Also, I’m 5′3″, which is sort of medium-sized, which means the world generally fits me juuust right. Yet when I buy work pants they are always, always too long; it finally occurred to me that clothes manufacturers are assuming either that all women are four inches taller than me, or that they’ll always be wearing heels at work. The likelihood of the second reason being the correct one disgusts me. So I hem my pants and wear my Merrells and try not to feel inadequate around women in power heels. This is the biggest reason why I don’t want to work in Baltimore or Washington: I’ll have to get a better wardrobe and ruin my spine.
As follow-up to yesterday’s sad post, MM did not apologize, and after getting everything out on my blog I felt lots better. I even had a pretty okay day after about noon. There wasn’t much to do so I got caught up on a task that is ongoing and that I greatly dislike, but getting caught up felt good. I’m not really sure what to do next in terms of interacting with MM, but I’m definitely not planning on going over there for a few weekends.
I found something very upsetting on the internet yesterday. This page tells the story of a woman who was apparently brainwashed by the people at Yogaville, which is the “ashram” where I booked my birthday weekend which I was so excited about. Apparently they’re running a yoga cult there.
I found several other terrifying pages written by people who had gotten caught up in Yogaville themselves or who had relatives who were caught up there. I read about a woman who had planned to go there and stay for six months, and she ended up leaving quietly and without telling anyone after a week because she was so freaked out. However, I read a blog page by a woman who went for a weekend, just like the one I’ve booked, with her friend and had a lovely time, and a Washington Post article by a guy who was comparing spas who had a nice time with his wife. I also read on the wide swamp that is the internet that Rick Ross (whose site it is that I referred to above) is a semi-nutball who thinks anything that’s not straight Christianity is a cult. (According to the Wikipedia page about him, his strongest critics are in the Church of Scientology…I’ll let that speak for itself.) I have a suspicion that the truth is somewhere between Rick Ross and Yogaville, but I’m leaning towards being afraid of Yogaville. I’m still going to go, and let me explain why.
First, it appears that the indoctrination that ensnared Catherine (above) only happens to people who go to do the Living Yoga Training, which seemed a little screwed-up to me even from reading about it on the Yogaville website. You go and live on the ashram, do chores, teach classes etc., without much or any pay, in a seemingly unstructured “program”, for an undefined period of time. If I were going to do that I would just go to India and walk the earth, not do someone else’s laundry in Virginia. Anyway, whether they actually brainwash everyone in this program or only brainwash the resistant ones, all the pages I read about the bad stuff were related to the Living Yoga Training. People who went for weekends noted that the obsession of the place with the swami who founded it is a little weird (pictures of him in every room, chanting specifically to his spirit), but didn’t remark on anything approaching mind control.
Second, more than one source calls Yogaville one of the best yoga resorts in America. yoga.about.com calls it the “famed” Yogaville resort. Surely if they tried to cultify everyone who went there for a weekend it would come out somehow. This is another reason why I think the culty part is restricted to the Living Yoga Training people.
Third, my mother has a friend who has spent time there, and he wasn’t indoctrinated. She mentioned that her friend had told her that they try to get money out of you in subtle ways, but that was all. If Mom had heard even a whisper of cultish behavior, she would spend all her energy over the next month trying to convince me not to go. (Which is why I’m not breathing a word of what I found on the internet until after I get back.)
Fourth, as I told BF, there’s a reason I’ve never voluntarily gone to a religious service in my life. There’s a reason why upsells never work on me. It’s not easy to convince me of anything.
Fifth, after talking it over with BF (who is VERY worried about me going now), I decided to do only a fraction of the activities, and not to do any of the ones that could be related to trying to convert me. I’m not doing any chanting, I’m not going to watch the videos of the swami who founded the place, I’m not even going to the two talks that are on the schedule. I’m going to do yoga, meditation, and I’m going hiking. That’s it. We also set it up so that I will call him at a specific time each day to assure him that I’m all right, and I’m going to talk to MFA today about preparing a notarized document saying BF has the right to remove me from the place against my protests if it comes to that.
Sixth, I am keeping this episode of the Simpsons in my head at all times. If I keep reminding myself of Homer collecting lima beans that look like the Leader, I will hopefully be able to laugh at anything that seems like it might be brainwashing.
Nevertheless, I’m really sad and disappointed that it happened this way. I was excited about such a great place being in decent driving distance to me. Yet another reason for me and BF to move to California.
September 23, 2008 at 12:50 pm
I’m guessing you don’t know what Karma Yoga is, right?
which is referenced about half of the way down on Yogaville’s website, here.
that took me approximately 2 minutes of intense googling. Next time you fear indoctrination, brainwashing, or even rank abduction, I recommend a bit of light research.
If you want to know more, feel free to hit me up. I am not so snarky all the time.
I had 15 years of direct ‘indoctrination,’ subtle pressures to donate, non-stop swami-image saturation and came out a fairly well-adjusted person. Surely if you’ll consider Catherine’s family an unbiased source of information, you’ll consider me similarly endowed with integrity and good faith.
I’m not sure I understand your point…are you saying that my karma is going to be bad because of this post, or that the folks at Yogaville are actually following the path of Karma Yoga, or what? They put forth Integral Yoga as their central philosophy, and it seems to me that Karma Yoga is related to, but not the same as, Integral.
I’ve said in the past that traditional Indian yoga study may look a lot like cult behavior from an American perspective, but is not, which is partly why I’m dubious about what I discovered about Yogaville.
I did do research, which is how I found all the stories I mentioned in my post – a few on Ross’s website, and a few off. In general, as I said, I find that the truth of any contested story is usually somewhere in the middle. I also don’t necessarily consider Catherine’s family unbiased, which is another reason why I’m planning on going to Yogaville anyway. Did you actually read my entire post, or just the parts you disagree with?
Maybe if you want me to hit you up, you could, like, not be snarky.
September 23, 2008 at 3:54 pm
What I am saying is that the LYT program is very clearly structured around karma yoga and is fairly explicit about this in the description of the program (there are several general branches of Yoga: Jnana, Japa, Raja, Karma, Bhakti)–I tend to think of it as a time when Che-shirt sporting young people learn to appreciate capitalism and it’s multifarious benefits rather than as a compartmentalized bastion of brainwashing at Yogaville (everything there is considered a potential type of meditation–yes, even walking can qualify).
I was referencing the parts of your post where you indicate having made preparations with third parties to ‘remove you’ should you come under malign influence; ‘paring down’ your list of activities to ‘minimize’ contact with possible agents of indoctrination; the lack of voluntary attendance at religious functions.
All of these concerns are completely at odds with my experience of actually growing up there and seeing all of these programs, including the LYT program, come into being. I know all the administrators, the full-time residents, the part-timers, the old-timers who only come back for visits and none of these people have ever exhibited any desire to proselytize, convert, attract ‘converts,’ or brainwash visitors. If anything, they’re far too passive and it’s a wonder that Yogaville is still around.
I knew Catherine as well. She was completely self-aware and knew exactly what she was doing 24/7. The administrators treated her family rudely placed too much importance on the right of her and her then-husband to privacy and that is why, other than the husband being older and not engaged in a thriving private practice, the family’s response took the form that it did. Catherine definitely did suspend the possibility of a very lucrative career to grow her oats and do whatever, but she certainly didn’t do so under the influence of another.
sorry for the excess snark.
I’m not all that surprised to hear what you have to say about Catherine. There are always two (or three or eight) sides to every story, and the noisiest side isn’t always correct.
Thank you for clearing up what I didn’t understand about your perspective, which is quite valuable. I’m glad to hear that my concerns are probably unfounded – much gladder than I would be if the bad reputation was deserved. I don’t think I’ll be doing LYT anytime soon, but I’m sorry if I maligned it unfairly in my post. I still look forward to my visit in October.
No biggie. It’s the internet.
September 23, 2008 at 5:27 pm
and as a fail-safe, if you do encounter something/situation/person you find pushy/overbearing/culty, please let me know.
I have personally turned away from many of the lifestyle choices made by many residents of Yogaville, but I still think some aspects are valuable and I’m most interested to see reactions of those coming from a more neutral pov.
thanks again for responding.
http://avirilenagalingam.blogspot.com/
Well, I’ll probably write at least one l-o-n-g entry when I get back in mid-October. When I do, I’ll send you a link.
Thanks for writing in with your POV.