[tumbleweed]

Work today is eerily quiet. MD dropped by with a few annoying things to do but then he left. I’m actually not altogether sure what to do with myself. I have some reviewing/comparison of meds to do, but that’s positively the last thing I want to do; I’d rather shred all day. I sort of have filing to do, but not really. I’ve gotten so caught up on all things that I’m pretty fancy-free.

This morning OG told me we’re in an even bigger budget crunch than we were before, so I need to stop ordering meds. Are. You. Kidding. Not only is this sort of my entire job, but there’s no way to decide what cases we’re going to take or turn down without meds, and I’m constantly being asked to get updates for older clients. She also told me that there’s no way I’ll be getting a new computer any time soon, despite the IT guys telling me that I definitely badly needed one.

I’m at sort of a loss on what to do about this. What with the way MD has been behaving lately and now these restrictions on what kind of work I can do, the thought of leaving has drifted into my mind more seriously than it has in a long while. I can’t, I know, I can’t, I have to stay until next year at least.

I got another “friendly reminder” on my extremely delinquent student loan, which confirmed that the interest on it is continuing to build outrageously as I sit and do nothing. Budget crunches at work and home, yay! My intelligent self is telling me to contact the delinquency people already and start making small payments, $100 a month or something, because small payments are better than no payments at all, but my other self is saying that my budget is stretched already (even though it’s really not) and I should just wait a little longer, until my car payment dies, or I get another bonus, or my credit card balance goes down a little more, or something like that happens. But I really like that I’m able to buy nice presents for my friends and family during holidays and for myself anytime, and that I’m really not afraid of letters from the bank anymore, and that I can sleep at night without thinking about money (usually), and that I can buy something on eBay without feeling guilty for weeks. And I really, really want a new sink.

Or I could just stop being selfish and start paying them $100 a month that I definitely have.

Yoga last night was only sort of good. The first half was good, but by the end I felt so fatigued that I could barely finish. I was parked about a foot from one of the heaters, so I’m wondering if that had something to do with it. (I found out that heatstroke happens at 105 degrees F. The room is generally not that hot, but it surely is warm.)

BF came home “early”, though. I had ordered his birthday presents very early, and when they came yesterday I was too excited to put them in a drawer and wait until Bastille Day. So I gave them to him last night. He LOVED the thermometer (it’s an infrared surface-temperature-reading thermometer, which he saw on Good Eats and thought was the coolest thing ever), and was very pleased with the DVDs. I was still in a crummy mood after the stupid morning incident with MD, so I begged him to watch Aladdin with me and let it cheer me up. It did. We also got in some interesting talk about Disney films from The Little Mermaid forward, stuff that I’ve often thought and talked about but I don’t think I’ve ever discussed with him.

This afternoon I have a chat for one of my classes (which end in a WEEK), and I was intending to do HW straight all night with the chat in the middle, but I really want to do yoga, to try and let go of yesterday’s anger and today’s frustration and the stress about my parents a little more. I’m not sure why I’m bothering to write this down, except that I have nothing else to do for the time being and it’s on my mind. I am WAY behind on homework and will have to work all weekend to finish out the semester successfully. MP are in Chautauqua, thank goodness, and I bet BF will have to work at least a little bit.

I got Yoga Anatomy two days ago, and honestly I’m pretty disappointed with it. It’s incredibly technical and doesn’t have an anatomical glossary (although it helpfully has a yoga-related glossary). I might have to buy a medical dictionary just to understand what’s being written. The pictures are good, though. If I knew what muscles were which, and what adducted means, I might do okay with it. Some of the stuff I understood was kind of amazing, though – how much slack your back muscles take up in unexpected ways, and how one movement affects what seem like unrelated muscles all over the place. I hope I can ask MM to translate some of it for me. There’s only so many questions I can ask my instructors before I get to be annoying.

‘Sall I got. I might be back, the wind is blowing disconsolately through my office and the tumbleweeds are still dancing by.